I Don’t Like School

Just in case it wasn't clear to anyone: I DON'T LIKE SCHOOL.

I just thought I'd alleviate any confusion, as I've been a bit vague and ambiguous on that point.

I will never, EVER, advise anyone on "ways to get their children back into school". If a child cannot bring themselves to go into school, their attendance rate is the last thing we should think, let alone care, about.

Their wellbeing ALWAYS comes first.

There is no such thing as "school refusal". These children are avoiding a lot more than school, anyway; they're avoiding life. It's life avoidance. School refusal does not exist. What we are witnessing is the world's refusal of Autistic authenticity.

For many of us, we are unable to enter the world as our true authentic selves. We can only do so under the guise of a mask. We recognise very early on that to be ourselves in the world essentially leads to our being punished for who we are.

The mask is not a voluntary process - it is a trauma response. The housebound (or roombound) Autistic person is thinking rationally. Why the hell would they set foot in a world that invariably denies them the right to be Autistic? To exist within the confines of one's bedroom as an Autistic person is actually extremely rational and sensible!

Within these confines, eyes glommed to the screen, control and safety are maintained, and being oneself is FINALLY possible. Why would any healthy minded, thinking person give this up?

The question is not "how do I put a boundary around screen time?" What, you want your child not to trust you or something? You are prepared to deprive them of the only source of safety and meaning they have in a world that seeks to eliminate their existence?

We shouldn't be focussing on screens. The object of addiction and excess is not the root of the issue: it is the remedy. The real problem lies outside of the object of addiction and excess - the world that does not yet fully accommodate the Autistic way of being.

The Autistic person in your life can't bring themselves to attend school or work and sits and plays video games all day in one room? You know what I say to that: GOOD! Fucking GOOD!

You think I'm being facetious? You think I want them to waste their lives? That couldn't be further from the truth.

The Autistic person who avoids life is not a weak, unambitious coward. They are brave, rational and have oodles of integrity and self-respect. They have realised that the only way they can stay true to their Autistic essence is by restricting themselves to one safe space and to a limited range of activities.

I respect these individuals. I want the best for them, and so long as the world is the way it is with regards to Autistic experience, the best thing for MANY (but not all) Autistic people to do is to stay the fuck away from it.

Our focus should be on how we can make the world a more Autistic-friendly place; not how we can get the Autistic person to do.... ANYTHING.

We will do things automatically when we are able to. We don't even need motivation or encouragement. The allure of our interests, combined with feeling safe and in control, is all we need.

So, yeah: FUCK mainstream school. You will never, EVER, hear any advice from me as to how to improve your child's attendance rating. And neither will you hear me advise you on how to limit screen time.

Excessive screen time could be a sign that the Autistic person regards the world as a dangerous, boring and hostile place, and derives their safety, control and meaning from a single source. Don't take that last remaining recourse from them.

My exception when it comes to school is if the child truly, sincerely enjoys themselves, is actually being educated, has genuine friends, and the school staff have gone out their way to educate themselves and meet all the child's needs.

If this is the case for you and your child, why are you even reading this? If there is a harsh truth to face: this is an extremely RARE case.

For the vast majority of us, school will FUCK. US. UP. We need an overhaul. NOW.