It's The Child Who Attends School we Need to Worry About; NOT The Child Who Avoids it.

If your child refuses school, this is a good thing, as they are setting healthy boundaries for themselves.

That they are putting a boundary between themselves and a hostile, unsafe environment is an act of self-love and self-care on their part.

Convincing them that they are wrong to do this and that school IS a good place for them, even though it's not, is pure gaslighting and violation of their boundaries.

We have to start respecting children's boundaries, agency and autonomy, and stop assuming we know what's right for them all the time. It is only the child who suffers further on down the line for the adult's temporary convenience in the moment.

If we really care about children, we'll stop forcing them into environments in which they feel unsafe, by gaslighting them into thinking their feelings are invalid and unreasonable.

I am PRO School Refusal, because these children are standing up for their rights and honouring their needs. I am starting to own the term school refusal - whilst I don't believe it is an act of will on the child, the child's entire being is rightfully refusing an environment that refuses THEM!

A lot of children who attend school are regarded as "well-behaved" and "compliant", which is believed to be a good thing... Unless these children are both truly enjoying school and benefitting from it, IT ISN'T!

Compliance and good behaviour are more often being driven by fear and self-loathing than organic cooperation and choice.

Much of the time, it's the child who attends school we need to worry about; not the child who avoids it.